A man and woman face each other across a table at a downtown bistro, looking nervous and awkward. There is a stiff formality to the way they sit—no slouching. It remains to be seen if it will pick up speed, gain altitude, and soar skyward . Sometimes they lead to burning love; sometimes they go down in flames. All the observable and obvious clues: They are nicely groomed—stylish, but not overdone. As would-be romances go, this plane is very slow to leave the gate and get onto the runway. or if it will lose engine power and sit on the tarmac indefinitely. It’s true that first dates can be one of the most nerve-wracking, anxiety-producing situations in our society. Is it OK to track them down on Facebook before you’ve met? Is Googling them an invasion of privacy or simply a way of doing your due diligence before you meet?
Answers to online dating questions
It’s even understandable that you might feel a looking at other potential options. Of course, the big question is: are they flirting with other people?
Sure, intellectually you know you’re not exclusive and it’s far too early to even think about it. People log into their profiles for a number of reasons: to clear out old messages, to read messages from people who’ve written to them and say “no thanks”, to continue conversations with people they were talking with before.
I reached out to the Nerd Love readership on Facebook and Twitter to answer some of the most perplexing frequently asked online dating questions.
One of the more difficult issues that people frequently wrestle with is: what are the rules when it comes to interacting with a match online, before you’re in a relationship?
When you’re meeting someone in person, it’s easy enough to deliberately ignore the fact that they’re probably seeing other people.
When it comes to online dating however, it’s not hard to “accidentally” notice that UCLAGal84 has been logging into her account even after you’ve gone on a few dates.
Should the relationship evolve, there will be plenty of time to get into weighty topics. When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy.
In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not.
What should I know about you that I’d never think to ask about?