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I mean the first few months she can't even kiss me because of her past - but gradually over the course of maybe a year or so we eventually get to the point where we can have sex.In the first part of the relationship, I didn't feel so guilty about the cyber sex thing - I even justified it by saying it made me more likely to stay in the relationship because I wouldn't be tempted by real sex.I've recognized that I'm addicted (especially over the last year or two) and that I need to stop doing this.

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I never imagined I'd still be doing it at 21 years old.

But here I am, doing it while I still have a girlfriend - to be honest, I disgust myself.

I couldn't be productive in any facet of my life so I just spent all day playing video games or having cyber sex to take my mind off of the emotional pain that my girlfriend and I were going through. Over the past year or so, since she got back from being abroad.

We've mostly gotten over the rape issues - she's gotten a lot better at sex, our sex life has improved, and our relationship has improved.

I wasn't sure to where to put this, so I figured here was the best place.

I guess I'll give you the sparknotes version of the story, since it's sort of late and I have to get to bed.Anyways, here comes college - still doing the whole cyber sex thing. We both fall in love and we start to develop a great relationship. She has past issues with abuse and rape, so she is sort of uncomfortable with sex sometimes.This sucks for me, but I've always told myself that I would deal with it because she is such an awesome person, and it wouldn't be worth it to ruin a relationship over sex.I'm 21 years old and have been dating a girl that I love, a lot, for almost 3 years now.Pretty much everything is great in our relationship - we get along really well, we both love each other a lot, talk really well, enjoy spending time together, etc. I guess it's only somewhat recently that I've come to this realization. I don't really remember, but a long time - and since before I was in this relationship.But I still can't kick this cyber sex habit that started 7-8 years ago and came back on really ######6 strong a year ago. In the last year or so, enter and Stickam shuffle and all of sudden it is 10x easier to find girls with webcams to have completely anonymous cam/cyber sex with.

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